AT. THE. MOTHA FUCKIN. CHEESECAKE. FACTORY.
I have composed a poem for the occasion.
I’m so excited about the cheesecake.
I wish that I could wheeze fake.
Zipping down a fucking waterfall of cream.
It almost seems like a fucking dream. LADIES.
Bout to drink some strawberry lemonade and it smells like a strange sugary flower.
As soon as I tasted that shit I realized it was really…..Jesus fucking Christ, that shit is sour.
Ever had a steak with a side of vanilla bean cheesecake.
Ever got so fat your cheeks swell.
10000 calories: all of it fat.
10000 wannabes: whip creamed topped hat.
Oops, I’m dead.
Jk, I’m not dead.